Chapter 3: Flowery Fists and Showy Kicks (Part 1)

Tang Xuan's left cheek was struck hard by his sister-in-law, causing half of his face to swell significantly. The delicate imprint of five fingers was deeply marked on his face. However, compared to the pain he had just experienced, this was almost negligible! It was likely that his sister-in-law had helped him channel his energy, which had drained a considerable amount of his spirit. At this moment, she was panting, her chest rising and falling rapidly. Just a moment ago, Tang Xuan had fallen into her fragrant shoulder, swaying with her hurried breaths, his cheek pressed against her delicate face, which was incredibly smooth. Unfortunately, before he could fully savor the fragrance of a woman, he was pushed away by his sister-in-law, and half of his face received another hard slap.

The young girl hesitated for a moment, unsure whether she was influenced by her sister's words, not wanting to become a historical sinner, or if she realized she could not break free and feared the consequences from the guards. In any case, she retracted her sword, reached out to check Tang Xuan's pulse, and upon seeing his pulse was chaotic and irregular, without a second thought, she helped him up, placed both hands against his back, and channeled a stream of true energy, guiding it through the meridians in Tang Xuan's body.

Tang Xuan signaled to the two beauties and then followed the old eunuchs to the morning court. In the court, many matters were usually handled behind the scenes by the princes and the prime minister, while what was presented in the court were trivialities such as the blooming of flowers, rare sights seen once in a century, and auspicious signs for the nation. It seemed that with the absence of Minister Wu, it made no difference whether Tang Xuan attended the court or not, as he was unaware of anything. Moreover, after the commotion of the previous night, Tang Xuan felt lethargic and kept yawning, which only pleased the Third Prince even more. He stepped forward and reported, "Your Majesty has been working day and night and is unwell. In my humble opinion, it would be better to dismiss the court early. I have prepared some soothing soup, and I will have someone deliver it to Your Majesty shortly"

The woman said coldly: "Foolish monarch, do not think that I will not kill you! Your worthless life is spared for the time being; if you treat my sister poorly, I will take your life at any moment!" After saying this, she raised her sword in a show of defiance.

As the three of them continued their commotion, the sky brightened significantly. Tang Xuan speculated that what had just occurred was likely a withdrawal from drug addiction. He never expected the sensation to be so unique, nor did he anticipate that his sister-in-law's vital energy could alleviate the symptoms of withdrawal. He then resolved that, regardless of the circumstances, he must keep his sister-in-law by his side. Otherwise, once the cravings hit, he would be doomed.

Bang! This time, the sister-in-law did not slap him on the right cheek, but instead kicked him directly, sending him flying and crashing heavily against the wall

Tang Xuanzheng was contemplating how to tease his sister-in-law again when suddenly his whole body trembled, losing balance and falling to the ground. He felt an unbearable itch and pain all over, as if thousands of ants were gnawing at his bones and countless needles were piercing his flesh. Tang Xuan had never experienced such a sensation before, and he immediately rolled on the ground in agony.

Tang Xuan was in a daze, his eyes filled with little stars. He could no longer feel pleased, and in his heart, he angrily thought: "It seems that without a good body, pursuing women is indeed a perilous task"

Hmph! What tricks are you up to again, you foolish monarch? Don't come over here. If you come any closer, I might just kill you. The younger sister-in-law brandished her sword, as if facing a formidable enemy. For some reason, she felt an intense wariness towards this thin and ugly man before her, even though he seemed utterly powerless.

Tang Xuanqing cleared his throat and said, "Change clothes, I want to attend the morning court!" When the palace maids entered, the younger sister-in-law had already hidden the treasured sword. The old eunuch, seeing an extra woman in the emperor's room, did not dare to ask, as the young and foolish monarch often engaged in strange antics. It was said that he had even summoned the Imperial Guards for protection last night, causing a false alarm, truly indulging in the utmost folly.

As dawn approached, Tang Xuan and the two women seemed to be tired and fell into a drowsy sleep. In his dream, Tang Xuan envisioned himself restored to his pre-time-traveling body, dressed in military uniform, exuding a heroic demeanor, driving an open-top military jeep, racing across the grasslands with his beloved and sister-in-law! The two women's lustrous black hair flowed gracefully in the wind, accompanied by a waft of fragrance that intoxicated him! Occasionally, they would cast flirtatious glances at him, giggling playfully! Tang Xuan, filled with excitement, pressed the accelerator hard, speeding forward, eliciting shrieks of laughter from the two women and playful punches. The two women's lustrous black hair flowed gracefully in the wind, accompanied by a waft of fragrance that intoxicated him! Occasionally, they would cast flirtatious glances at him, giggling playfully! Tang Xuan, filled with excitement, pressed the accelerator hard, speeding forward, eliciting shrieks of laughter from the two women and playful punches.

Tang Xuan smiled awkwardly and said, "Your sister is as beautiful as a celestial being; I cherish her dearly, so how could I possibly treat her poorly in the *picture* and *book*?" The woman turned her face away, ignoring him, and slowly sheathed her sword

Tang Xuan sighed in relief, his body softened and fell onto a soft, fragrant figure

Tang Xuan opened his eyes and realized that he was holding his sister-in-law's calf. No wonder it felt so smooth and fragrant in his dreams! Seeing that the two women had not noticed he was awake, he closed his eyes again and pretended to be asleep. He rolled over and directly rolled onto his sister-in-law, stretching one hand as if yawning, thinking to himself: "You kicked your brother-in-law for so long, shouldn't your brother-in-law get some interest back?" However, Tang Xuan suddenly felt that what he was touching was not the smooth and soft body, but a cold, hard object. A gentle touch sent a sharp pain through him. Startled, he opened his eyes to see his sister-in-law staring coldly at him, her sword drawn. His palm had been cut by the sword, and blood was flowing freely. He thought again: "You kicked your brother-in-law for so long, shouldn't your brother-in-law get some interest back?" But again, he felt that what he was touching was not the smooth and soft body, but a cold, hard object. A gentle touch sent a sharp pain through him. Startled, he opened his eyes to see his sister-in-law staring coldly at him, her sword drawn. His palm had been cut by the sword, and blood was flowing freely. Tang Xuan let out a cry, sprang up from the ground, and covered his wound, exclaiming: "Sister-in-law, how could you be so cruel? I am your brother-in-law!"

Tang Xuantong was sweating profusely from pain. His already ugly and yellowish face became even more distorted, devoid of any color. He cried out, "Little sister-in-law, have mercy and just kill me! Ah..."

Tang Xuan was originally in excruciating pain, gradually losing consciousness, and only wished for death to end it all. Unexpectedly, a sudden wave of coolness flowed from behind him, circulating through his meridians. He immediately felt an unparalleled sense of comfort, a sensation he had never experienced before, as if he were bathed in a spring breeze, feeling light and ethereal. The previous tingling and pain had completely vanished, replaced by a warm and refreshing feeling

"Eh? Why are the punches from the two young ladies getting heavier?" Tang Xuan, in a daze, suddenly felt increasing pain in his back. Upon opening his eyes, he saw his sister-in-law kicking him with her foot, while her sister softly advised, "Little sister, let it go. He’s asleep; just let him sleep a bit longer. It’s unintentional on his part, so don’t wake him up."

Tang Xuan chuckled softly, slowly crawling towards his sister-in-law's side, leaning his face closer. His sister-in-law was taken aback and hurriedly searched for her sword. However, Tang Xuan turned his face away and said with a smile, "A famous person once said, if you strike my left cheek, for the sake of fairness, please also strike my right cheek! This way, each side will have a five-finger mark, which looks more aesthetically pleasing!"

Ah? ... ... You are shameless! Get lost!

Outside the door, a group of people hurriedly approached. The old eunuch was again outside, cautiously reporting: "Your Majesty, the time for the morning court has arrived! Will you be attending court today?"

Hmph! The Soul-Consuming Soup? It truly is soul-consuming! I've lost two of my three souls because of you. You scoundrel prince, I will settle the score with you in the future. Upon hearing about this Soul-Consuming Soup, Tang Xuan was filled with anger, secretly resenting it, yet on the surface, he laughed heartily and praised, "Uncle San is truly considerate of me! Your loyalty is commendable; I will make sure to send my regards to your entire family! Hahaha..."

The young girl was somewhat incredulous about her ears; could this foolish monarch truly be unafraid of death? Just as she was pondering this, she suddenly heard her sister exclaim, "Sister, it seems the Emperor really has been poisoned!" The young girl took a closer look and saw his entire body twisted in a strange manner, frothing at the mouth, with a face that was ghastly and terrifying. She was startled and quickly pulled her sister, saying, "Sister, it looks like this foolish monarch is about to die; we should escape!" The concubine shook her head and said, "Sister, the palace guards are strict; we cannot break out. Moreover, if the Emperor dies, the world will descend into chaos! You must save him! We cannot become the sinners who trigger a great war!"

Where would the Third Prince understand the implied meaning of Tang Xuan? He merely accompanied the civil and military officials in laughter, repeatedly saying: "Thank you, Your Majesty! This is what I, a humble minister, ought to do!"

The younger sister-in-law wondered what he was up to again, thinking to herself, "Could it be that after I slapped him just now, he has become foolish?" She hesitantly said, "You... you... if you don't provoke me, how could I... hit you? Don't come over!"

Ah... so refreshing

Thank you for the reminder! In order to achieve symmetry on both sides of the face, I will provoke you a little!" Tang Xuan said with a lewd smile, extending his bony hand to touch his sister-in-law. He leered and said, "Little sister, the foolish king has arrived!" His tone was reminiscent of the character Grey Wolf.

What?

Bang!

Oh my! This little girl has such strong legs